Confused
by TheMelonWriter
Summary: Lucy has been going through a confusing phase and the Guild is trying to help her as much as possible. Natsu doesn't know though? Everyone is hiding it from him? How does he not realize? -One shot


**Hey everyone! I know it's been a long time since I've done any sort of story. This is just something I wanted to try out and see how it turned out. This is my first mature fanfic and I probably did horrible at the ending. This is a one shot and I had to hurry at some parts. I tried my best and I still hope you guys like it. I'm sorry if it seems rush, but I did try as much as I could with this one shot.**

 **It's different from some of the stuff I've written about in the past. I still plan on finishing the stories. I've just been busy because I plan on moving. Plus I have a YouTube I'm working on finishing one of the chats I've started.**

 **I hope you like this story!**

* * *

It was late in the evening and Lucy was at the bar talking with Mira. She has been at the Guild for most of the day talking with Levy, Erza, and Mira. Right now, Levy had went over to talk with her team and Gajeel. They were talking about going on a mission together sometime during the week. Erza had turned her attention to a fight that Natsu and Gray were having. She actually ended up joining them.

"So, how have you been doing these past few days? How is the cut healing up?" Mira was in the middle of cleaning some of the cups and putting them away.

Lucy sighed laying her head on the counter. "It's healing fine. Sorry about that…"

Mira looked down at Lucy softly. She looked so vulnerable and she was just going to break. "Maybe…you should tell him…?"

Lucy's eyes widen and she shot up. "N-No! He can't find out."

"He could help too. You need all the help you can get though." Mira sighed shaking her head. "I know how you feel about him, but he is going to find out. Probably not in the way you were hoping. He could walk in on you."

"I-I'm trying to stop…"

"Lucy, it's been 5 months since we found out and even with us always around you, you find a way to sneak off."

"I-I'm trying my best honestly. I just…it gets too much."

"Maybe we should do another girls night and talk…or you could tell Natsu." Mira suggested.

Lucy sighed and sat back down. "I-I can't do that to Natsu. He cares so much about his friends…This would just hurt him."

"He cares more about you than anything. Don't think he hasn't notice how you've been acting. He pays attention more than you may think."

"Mira…He can't find out that I'm cutting…It would hurt him so much and I need to know he is happy."

Mira sighed knowing that this conversation is over. "Have you ate anything today?" Lucy looked down not saying a word. "Lucy-"

"I'm heading home I don't feel good." She got up from her seat heading towards the doors.

"Erza!" Mira yelled over at where the fight was happening. In the middle stood Erza aiming her swords at Natsu and Gray's neck. Mira was pointing towards Lucy. Without so much as a word Erza hurried over to Lucy following her. Natsu and Gray shrugged it off not really paying much attention and continued to attack each other. Mira sighed shaking her head.

"She looks depressed."

Mira looked up from what she was doing to see Levy sitting down. "I think it might be ready for another girl's night."

"Still no luck? She is getting worst by the day. How are we going to help her if she won't accept anything?"

"I brought up telling Natsu and she just won't do it."

Levy smiled sadly looking down. "I feel so useless with all of this. We are her friends and…"

Mira smiled sadly. "She wants to stop…but she doesn't realize…"

Natsu and Gray had stopped their fight when both of their stomachs growled and they remembered the food that they had forgotten. They had ordered some food a while ago before the argument. The paused it for the time being and decided to eat. Both of them settled down and Natsu was so into his food. Until he caught wind of a conversation.

Levy sighed some tears falling. "Lucy is hurting…

"We've tried everything we could these past five months though. It doesn't mean we won't stop, but what are we going to do?"

"The only thing we can really do is keep doing girl's night for the time being. She is usually better for a couple days after that."

"We need something permeant. It's not just the cutting anymore it's her starving herself too. We could just tie her up and force feed her for a while."

Levy's eyes widen. "I-I don't think that is healthy!"

"It'll give her some time to stop."

Natsu had stopped listening once he heard the word cutting and the starving part. He shot up from his seat startling Gray. He slammed his hands on the table turning towards the girls. "What the hell do you mean Lucy is cutting?" The guild had turned silent as that got their attention.

Levy and Mira had turned pale looking at him. They knew they messed up and didn't know what to say at first. Mira smiled a bit. "What are you talking about?"

Natsu had made his way over to them. "I heard you. You said Lucy was cutting and starving? Don't you think you should have told us? Where is she right now? Who is with her? Why the hell did you not fucking tell me?" Natsu had fire in his eyes and he was screaming. You could see him so tensed up that his veins were showing on his arms. He was gritting his teeth waiting for an answer.

The girls couldn't say anything. They haven't seen Natsu so mad for such a long time. They couldn't utter a word that were just nervous about everything. Lucy didn't want this out at all it might have been a good idea, but they still respected her wishes. Which is why they were helping her in private. No one uttered a word while Natsu was waiting for an answer from the girls. All the sudden Natsu was squished by a hand. "Damn it child would you settle down?" The Master walked up to them.

"Old man did you know about this?" Natsu yelled jumping back up.

"You think I'm as stupid as you are? I can tell when one of my children are hurting." The master jumped on the counter and sighed. "I've been helping her for longer than these two. I was the one who planned when the three of them found out."

Mira's eyes widen. "What? What did you say? What do you mean?"

"I've known for nine months that she has been doing it. I did try tying her up though and it worked for only that time and when I let her go it just got worst. She needs help and that's why I brought Erza, Levy and you into this. Natsu would just force everything and flip out just now. I needed some people that would be level headed."

"U-Um…" Wendy walked up to them. "I also know about the situation. She came to me one night bleeding heavily…I think it was when you untied her. I've been healing her as much as I can. Plus, trying to talk to her to tell her to tell everyone."

Natsu gritted his teeth. "You guys all knew and you never told me? I'm only flipping out because I didn't know! You guys should have told me!"

"We all knew." Gray spoke up. "We all helped her as much as we could. Even Gajeel tried helping with his singing. It wasn't the greatest idea." A piece of metal flew out and hit Gray's head.

"My singing is amazing!" Gajeel yelled.

"I was the only one who didn't know…?" Natsu asked wide eyed.

It was my job to distract you so you wouldn't figure it out." Gray said. "That's why we been out on missions a lot more and we were fighting so much."

Levy was full on crying now. "We have tried everything then…Why won't she stop? What are we missing? I-I don't get it. Lu-Chan…"

Natsu glanced at her then at everyone else. Everyone was either crying silently or just pale not uttering a word. "I'm going to talk to her." Natsu turned around heading towards the doors.

"Natsu, she doesn't want you to find out…It will destroy her knowing you know." Mira spoke up ready to go after him.

"I don't give a damn! I will just fix everything! Who is with her now?" Natsu yelled while opening the doors.

"Erza…" Just like that Natsu was gone heading to Lucy's house.

* * *

"Erza…" moaned Lucy laying on the bed.

"Sorry, it's the only way you will eat. I tried to get to eat by yourself." Erza was sitting on top of Lucy and force feeding her.

Lucy moaned again trying to move around. "It hurts though."

Erza rolled her eyes and scooped up some more mac and cheese and forced it into her mouth. "If you would eat like normal I wouldn't have to do this!"

Lucy groaned and kept swallowing everything that was getting put into her mouth. It hurt like hell and she felt her stomach protesting the food. Well, not really protesting just the fact that food is coming in and nothing is in her stomach. It's like that feeling when you don't eat anything and when you do you feel that pain for the first few bites. **(I don't know if anyone has ever experience that. I have tons of times. It hurts so much though.)** "C-Can you stop now? I think that's enough food."

"You haven't even made a dent in this bowl! Keep eating." Erza forced even more food in her mouth.

After a few minutes the bowl was empty and Erza had went to the kitchen to put everything away. Lucy was curled up in a ball on her bed holding her stomach. Lucy bites her lip drawling blood she need to sneak off to the bathroom without her noticing. She felt like such a pig eating all that food she needed to get rid of it. The food just made her feel nasty and she felt so fat. How could she eat all of that in one go? Besides the fact that she forced fed her, but she could hardly struggle. Lucy rolled off the bed and quietly crawled her way to the bathroom. She just needed the toilet. That's all she needed. The toilet. Her finger down her throat. Everything would be better. She would be fine for at least a few minutes. Maybe a few cuts would help. Cutting…It sounded so amazing right now. She needed it so badly. Erza doesn't have to know.

Lucy was almost to the bathroom when she paused.

 _What am I doing?_

She sat back sitting on the ground.

 _I-I need help. I need to stop. Someone help. Wait…They are helping. I-I'm just pushing them away. Help…_

"E-Erza!" Lucy yelled holding her head curling into a ball. "H-Help…"

Erza dropped what she was doing and rushed into the room. She rushed over to Lucy and bent down hugging. "Lucy? What's wrong? Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?" Erza was a little more than surprised that Lucy even called out to her. She knew she was heading to the bathroom from her positon, but she usually would never call out for her. She would just usually sneak off.

Lucy was shaking so badly. Her nails dug into her scalp as she laid on the floor.

 _I-I did it before it was too late. I did it. I did it. I did it._

All of the sudden the door slammed opened from the entrance and Natsu made quick work walking to Lucy's room. He stopped at the hallway seeing Lucy on the floor and Erza hugging her tightly. "N-Natsu? What are you doing here?" Erza was staring wide eyed at Natsu.

"I know about it all. Apparently everyone knew. Before me? Are you fucking serious? Get out of here." Natsu ordered crossing his arms leaning on the door frame.

 _No…He can't. No. No. He can't know. He will hate me. I-I can't believe it. This must be a dream! No! No! No! Please! No!_

"Natsu I don't think you understand…" Erza slowly got up and stood in front of Lucy protecting her.

"Fucking right I don't understand! Everyone kept it a secret from me, why?" Natsu fired back at her. "Leave. I need to talk to her."

"Natsu she is in a critical state! I can't just leave her!"

"Fuck! Just leave already! I'm not leaving her!" Natsu moved from his position and pushed her out. Erza quickly overpowered him and was about to much him. "

"E-Erza…just do what he said." Lucy whispered out. Both of them looked towards her. She was looking on the ground, but both them could see clearly that she was full on baling. Erza stayed silent for a few minutes before nodding slowly and left the apartment giving them space. It was only a couple minutes, but it felt like eternity for both of them. Lucy was still crying not looking at Natsu. Natsu was staring down at her thinking about what to say.

Lucy had started to bite her lip once more causing more blood to come out.

 _Why won't he say anything? A-Am I that much of a disappointment? I-I'm sorry, Natsu. I don't want to lose you too…_

Natsu sighed messing up his hair bending down to the ground.

 _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I came all this way and I don't even know where to start. Ah…I can't let her know about my feelings. I promised a long time ago I would be the idiot best friend. Nothing more and nothing less. Idiot best friend. Idiot best friend. Idiot best friend. But…why didn't anyone tell me? Everyone else knew does she not care about me that much?_

Natsu sighed once again and just moved over to pull her into a huge hug. He buried his face into her neck and pushed her head into his neck. He had one hand in her already pretty messed up hair and the other arm around her midsection. Lucy was limp in his arms completely confused about what was happening. "Why didn't you tell me?"

 _Because, I love you._

Lucy stayed silent and decided to hug him back not uttering a word. Natsu didn't ask anything after that. If anything that was the very first question he wants answered. He sighed and got up from the ground picking up Lucy. Her eyes widen and squirmed around. "D-Don't! I'm way too heavy!"

"The fuck you are!" Lucy flinched a bit at how loud his voice was. "I should have noticed it sooner. How many times do I carry you? How many times do I see your body? Why the fuck didn't I fucking notice?"

"N-Natsu…?"

"I'm not even pissed off at the Guild! I'm fucking pissed off at myself! I see you more than anyone. I pick you up more than anyone. Everyone got to help besides me. I didn't even have a clue. Fuck. I'm so useless."

"You aren't useless! I'm the one who is useless out of everyone. I can't do any-"

"You aren't useless! How could you even think that?"

"E-Everyone got hurt…I was completely fine, but everyone got hurt then we lost the guy. I couldn't do anything. You guys wouldn't let me even fight him. I'm so useless…You guys don't even trust me to fight. It's not only then, but all the time!"

Natsu dropped her on her bed. "You are being stupid. We didn't want you fighting him because the guy was too strong for all of us. Plus, we needed someone to help us back to the Guild. We were all weak to that guy."

"I-It's not just that one guy! I can never handle fighting. I'm so weak. I don't understand why you guys protect me."

"Stupid! You are one of us. You always have been and always will be. You aren't weak to us you help us at our toughest times. Your heart is stronger than all of ours probably put together. We wouldn't have won so much without you. You are the reason why I have to win my fights. I have to win for you."

Lucy's eyes widen staring at him a small blush on her cheeks.

 _Don't give me hope…_

"N-Natsu…"

"Get some sleep for now. I'll be out in the living room if you need me. He turned heading for the door." Lucy said nothing and slowly got under the covers. She had no idea why she was falling his orders, but she didn't want to argue right now.

"Sorry…" Natsu stopped at the door when she spoke up. "Sorry, I didn't tell you. I didn't want to hurt you or our friendship…"

"Our friendship won't ever break. Not in a billion years." He glanced back at her and smiled for a split second. "But I'm more than pissed off right now." He left the room closing the door. He looked down at the ground. "Idiot best friend…damn it. Hold back my feelings."

Lucy was moving around trying to get comfortable. She already knew he was pissed off at her there is nothing she can change about that now. She sighed and looked at the bathroom then the doorway. She could hear snoring coming from Natsu, so if she really wanted to do it now it would be the perfect time. She slowly got out of bed careful not to wake up the sleeping man out her room. She knows what happened earlier that she stopped herself, but this…she needed it. She made her way slowly into the bathroom and went to the draw she knows has her razors.

 _It'll be fine. Just one more long cut and everything will be fine. It'll be okay._

She took her shirt off and pulled down her pants and went in front of the mirror. She saw all the scars around her stomach and hip. It was the main place she would cut. No one would know since she hardly every wears revealing clothes anymore. It was a perfect plan. She traced a scar that cut across her stomach.

 _My first…_

It was her first ever cut she ever did. She remember how much the pain was and then the pleasure that came after. It was just so amazing. She couldn't explain the feeling. It was like every cut she made after turned into a sweet, sweet addiction. She could never fully explain what took her to this. It was so complicated. Her thoughts were just so jumbled. All she knew that this addiction didn't want to leave. It's fine though, right? At least she isn't into drugs or anything right? This has to be better than some sort of drug addiction.

She picked up the razor and stared down at it. She used it so many times already. She couldn't explain that feeling when it runs across her skin opening it up for the blood to just poor out. It felt so amazing. Nothing could be better than this right? Right? She sighed and found a clean spot to put the cut. She pressed the blade into her skin until it went in drawing blood and she started moving it to make the rest of the cut, but one second the blade was inside her skin then next she saw it thrown at the ground.

"What the fuck are you doing?" She blinked and looked up at Natsu. He wasn't looking at her and quickly got a towel to put it on her cut.

"You were asleep…"

"My nose still works perfectly fine!" He growled out looking at the cut. He couldn't believe what he had smelled or what he saw. He could care less that she was basically naked right now. "Obviously, I should have been in the room…"

Everything went silent as Natsu was stopping the blood with the towel. Lucy was looking at the ground.

 _He saw me…This wasn't supposed to happen. Why? Why is this happening? He probably hates me._

Little by little tears started to stream down her face and onto the floor. Once Natsu noticed he glanced up at her. The sight for him just broke his heart even more. He longed dropped the towel and before he realized it pulled Lucy into a tight hug. He rested his head on top of hers and Lucy grabbed his shirt moving closer to him crying into his chest.

Minutes went by until Natsu decided to say something. "You should get dress and go sit on your bed. I'll be there shortly."

All Lucy could do was nod and grabbed her clothes heading out of the bathroom. Natsu let out a deep sigh and picked up the towel. "I'm supposed to be the idiot best friend…why is this harder than it seems?" He tossed the towel in the laundry pile and grabbed a couple band aids. The bloody razor that still laid on the floor caught his attention. He picked it up slowly and stared down at it.

 _I shouldn't have left her alone. It was my mistake._

He washed off the blood and threw the razor away. He then went through all the drawers getting rid of all the razors he could find, and buried them deep into the trash can.

 _I got to remember to take it out later._

He left the bathroom and found Lucy sitting on her bed fully clothed. He sighed and sat next to her and faced her way having one of his legs laying on the bed behind her. He started pulling her shirt up while watching her. "Can you move your arm up?"

Lucy didn't argue at all and just did what she was told. He put the band aid on her cut and let her shirt fall back into place.

Lucy at this point felt very, very numb. She had no idea what to say or do. Natsu had been the only one to see her actually in the middle of it. Everyone else had only seen it after. She could feel herself shaking she couldn't look up. She stared down at Natsu's hands. "Natsu…your hand."

Natsu shrugged. "Don't worry about it right now." Lucy had took his hand to look at the cut.

 _I caused this…_

Natsu sighed once more completely worn out and laid his head against her shoulder. "We should sleep."

"Your hand though…"

Natsu nodded and moved to get up from the bed. "Lay down and sleep." He headed towards the bathroom to clean his cut up.

Lucy just got under the covers and watched him clean up his hand. Soon though, darkness took over for her and she was fast asleep.

* * *

By the time Lucy actually woke up the next morning she had no idea what time it was and why there was food on her night stand. She sat up looking at the food completely confused. There was a bagel, some eggs, and hash browns. "Natsu can cook…?"

"Lucy! You are up!" Mira came into the room with a cup of orange juice.

"Mira? When did you get her?" Lucy was beyond confused at what was going on.

"I came by about an hour ago. Natsu sent Happy to come get me."

"Happy? He wasn't here last night was he?

"Happy came about an hour after you fell asleep." Natsu spoke up from the doorway. "I had to explain everything."

Lucy's eyes widen staring at him. "Everything?"

"At least I wasn't the only one left out."

"Is he alright?"

Natsu just shrugged to the question. "You better start eating we are heading to the Guild soon."

"Why the Guild?"

"Everyone is worried about how you are doing, but after that it's a little girl's night! Mira smiled happily.

 _She seems a little better now. Hm…I wonder if something happened between one of them._

Natsu's eyes widen. "What? I didn't agree to this."

"Oh well, we already made plans for it." Mira laughed walking out of the room. Natsu followed after her arguing about the whole girl's night.

Lucy shook her head and looked at the food. "Should I really eat…?" It took a few minutes of arguing with herself before she moved the food in front of her and ate it. She ate slowly though not rushing it, and sometimes stop to take a small drink of orange juice.

Natsu was leaning on the door watching her. Lucy though hadn't even noticed him. He couldn't but smile watching her.

 _Maybe she just needed a good cry._

Lucy soon finished and put everything back on her nightstand. When she looked up she saw Natsu watching her smiling. What? "N-Natsu…?"

Natsu blinked a few times coming back to Earth. "What is it?"

"Are you okay?"

He just laughed awkwardly going to the bed sitting down. "For right now."

Lucy looked at him a little creeped out. "Um…Where is Mira?"

"She went back to the Guild. I told her we will be leaving soon."

"Do I really have to go?"

"Everyone is worried."

Lucy sighed and laid back down pouting. "I don't know how I can look at everyone."

Natsu raised an eyebrow. "They already knew though. If anything shouldn't you be nervous about me?"

Lucy blushed and covered her face with the covers. "I'm still sorry…"

Natsu sighed scratching his head. "I think I was plenty pissed off. Let's just drop it and get you better." Lucy silently nodded from under the covers and crawled to the end of the bed getting off the bed. "Um…What are you doing?"

Lucy stood up and was blushing. "I just felt like doing it."

"Weirdo." Natsu stood up beside her.

She bites her lip still blushing and hugged him real quick before walking towards the bathroom. "I-I'm taking a shower."

Natsu blinked surprised but covered his face from the blush. "Leave the door open just in case." Natsu walked into the other room. Lucy blushed, but kept the door open anyway.

* * *

Lucy and Natsu were standing in the middle of the Guild a few hours later. Natsu planned on staying close to her, but that seemed impossible at the moment. The girls were crowding around her so much that he couldn't get anywhere near her. He stood there staring at her while Gray was saying something to him. He wasn't paying much attention to him at all. Gajeel was just standing there acting like he was a part of the conversation. Happy was on Natsu's head just talking over Gray asking a bunch of questions.

Gajeel sighed and his Gray over the head to make him shut up. This caught Natsu's attention and turned looking at Gajeel. "Listen the girls are doing something tonight, so why don't we all do something? Laxus and I were talking and decided to we can do something at his place."

Natsu blinked confused. "Laxus did? Are you sure?"

Gajeel shrugged. "Sounds like the perfect time to have a guy's night if the girls are getting one."

Gray raised an eyebrow. "That sounds…creepy."

"Actually, I'm up for it. I need some time to relax anyways." Natsu smirked looking at them. "We can have a contest with our fighting!"

Happy glanced back at the girls, who were all pushing Lucy out the Guild. "They are talking Lucy."

Natsu moved to look at them. "Leave them be. Lucy needs to get out when her head is still clear."

Gajeel smirked. "So fighting?" The guys nodded and got everyone heading to find Laxus.

* * *

Lucy had been dragged away the minute Natsu and her entered the Guild. The girls asked so many questions it was making her a bit dizzy. Then all of the sudden Levy and Mira grabbed both her arms and dragged her out of the Guild. "W-What are you guys doing? It's too early to do anything."

They had dragged her back to Fairy Hills and into Mira's apartment. Mira pushed her on the couch and smiled down at her. "Now, what happened between Natsu and you?"

"Are you guys together?"

"Have you guys done anything?"

"How far have you guys gone?"

"You guys are dating right?"

"Did you sleep together?"

Lucy's face was completely red. "G-Guys we aren't anything. We are just friends. I-I can't focus on that right now."

Erza smiled a bit. "True. We should focus on you getting back to your normal self."

Lucy nodded slowly looking down at her fingers just playing with them. Juvia had come over and sat beside her. "Juvia, thinks besides just a girl's night we should just watch movies all day."

"That's a great idea!" Levy smiled. "How about we all get all of our movies and just start going through them?" The girls nodded and went back to their rooms to get all the movies that they could. After a few minutes a pile of DVD's were in front of the TV.

Mira was sitting down going through some of the movies. "Well, better just start going at it." She put in a movie and started the movie marathon.

* * *

It was sometime around midnight before the last movie's credits were playing. All the girls were sleeping besides Lucy, she had gotten up to turn the TV off and stretched. She looked around all the girls and smiled.

 _I really do owe a lot to these girls. I know it's been a lot of trouble to deal with me._

She traced a couple of the scars on her stomach.

 _Yet…I can't stop cutting. I need to fight against it…No matter what…I will try this time…As much as possible._

She took one of the blankets and wrapped herself around it. She went out of the apartment and went to head outside. She went out the back and looked down at the pool. "The water looks nice…" She sat down on the edge and put her feet in the water still wrapped around the blanket. "Today was nice…It hasn't been like this for a while."

"Glad you had fun."

Lucy jumped scared and looked back slowly. "Mira…What are you doing up?"

"Shouldn't I ask you the same thing?" She sat beside Lucy. "What's on your mind?"

"A lot of things. I just don't know how to really feel right now. I know I'm grateful for you guys though…"

"I feel like Natsu did more than what we could in one night then what we did in the months."

Lucy bites her lip holding onto the cut that was still band aid up. "He saw me last night doing it…"

"What…?"

"I just wanted one more and I was in the middle of it…and he hurt his hand…and…and…I don't know. I don't know what he is thinking."

"Hun, it will be okay. I'm sure Natsu feels the same he always does. He must just still be worried. I know he didn't want us to take you. I'm sure he worried about you wanting to be with you."

"What are you trying to say?"

Mira smiled and got up. "Maybe one day he will finally tell you." She walked away and stopped smiling someone. "You should tell her."

"That's not my plan. I'm only supposed to be her friend."

"How long will you two hold out with that?" Mira shook her head and walked back inside.

Natsu let out a deep sigh and looked at Lucy's back. "Lucy…" He walked up to her and stood behind her.

Lucy turned her head and smiled looking up at him. "Natsu, what are you doing here?"

His eyes soften looking down at her. "I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright."

Lucy nodded standing up to face him. "It was a really fun day."

"What were you girls doing?"

"We just had this huge movie marathon." Natsu smiled at her not saying a word. She smiled back him, but it kind of got awkward really fast with only smiling. "So, just here checking up on me?"

"Just got to make sure you are doing okay."

Lucy bites her lip looking down. "I'm with the girls you should figure I'm fine."

"I'm just a concern best friend here." Lucy glanced up at him when she heard the word best friend.

"Ah…That's right."

 _Right. We are just best friends nothing more. We won't ever be…What am I thinking? I knew this already to begin with._

Natsu sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

 _Shit. She looks sad now. Maybe she was right. But…I'm supposed to be the idiot best friend. Why is this confusing?  
_

"I think I should go to bed now. You should probably go home." Lucy walked past him heading for the door.

"Ah…W-Wait a minute. I think we should talk."

"I don't see what there is to talk about."

"You know…about what is going on with us."

"You already said though. We are best friends. Listen I'm tired…"

Natsu went to stand in front of her blocking her way. "I know we are best friends. I mean…I promised myself that I would always stay your idiot best friend. I didn't want it to change I thought that would be best for you and-"

"I get it. Stay best friends. I don't want to hear anymore I just want to get some sleep and forget about this." Lucy pushed past him walking inside and slamming the door.

"….and I can't take it anymore…" Natsu groaned and messed up his hair. "What the fuck was that?"

"Told you I was going to be right."

"Shut up, Gray. I shouldn't have started out like that."

"It's not just that. You didn't give yourself a chance in the first place."

"I don't know what to do."

"You can always show her."

"I'm not even sure what that even means."

Gray shrugged and walked off and Natsu went his own way.

* * *

It was in the middle of the afternoon and Natsu was still at his house. He couldn't sleep at all the night before after the talk with Lucy. He was lying in bed looking up at the ceiling. Happy was sleeping on his stomach purring happily. "What the hell am I doing?"

 _Seriously. What did Gray mean by showing? I don't get it._

Natsu covered his eyes with his arms. "What is happening?"

"Natsu…?"

Natsu still had his eyes covered. "What's wrong?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine don't worry."

"Is it about Luce?"

Natsu glanced down at Happy. "How do you know?"

"It is about her!"

"Okay, so maybe…"

"Is she okay? She isn't upset is she?"

"Yeah, I probably made her upset." It took a few minutes before Natsu shot up his eyes widening. "Fuck she is upset."

Happy fell down onto his lap "Is that bad? She is always upset." Natsu got up from his bed getting dressed in a hurry. "Where are you going?"

Natsu was out the door in just a couple minutes. "I'm going to her place to make sure she is alright! You can come later tonight!"

"Aye…?"

Natsu ran all the way to Lucy's apartment as fast as he could.

 _Ugh. She is upset why didn't I realize this earlier? Please tell me she didn't leave them to go home. She has to be okay._

He jumped up to the window and saw the bed a mess, but couldn't see where Lucy was. He opened the window and hoped down on her bed looking around the room for her. "Lucy?" He went to the bathroom to check if she was there, but nothing. "Lucy? Are you here?" He sighed and walked out and went towards the kitchen. "Lucy?" Before he could reach he saw a ball on the couch covered in layers of blankets. He went up to her and tried ripping the blankets off, but Lucy was holding onto them.

"D-Don't do it."

"Lucy, what is wrong?" He put his hands under all the blankets, but stopped once he touch her arm. "Lucy…" He stared down at his hand that was just covered in blood. "Damn it." He ripped off the blankets and looked down at her. Her arm was cut in multiple areas one was by the wrist the other was half way down and the other was by her elbow. "I thought you stopped this!"

Lucy shrunk away and tried to grab the covers. "D-Don't…"

Natsu threw the covers out of her reach and grabbed her shoulders roughly. "What the fuck were you think?" Lucy covered her face with her hands trying to hold back the tears. Natsu wasn't getting a single word out of her and just sighed. He took the arm that wasn't bleeding and pulled her up heading to the bathroom. He heard her protest, but just ignored them all. Once they were in the bathroom he lifted her up on the counter and went through the drawers looking for everything he needed to clean the cuts.

Lucy stayed silent looking down at him as he cleaned the cuts. He wasn't supposed to visit. He was supposed to keep away today and not have to worry about anything. She couldn't keep the tears from falling. She was crying so much this week. Why couldn't he have never known? He hates her by now. He has to. Right? "N-Natsu…you should go…"

Natsu glanced up at her and sighed while he kept cleaning.

 _I thought she got better after the other night. I know it takes a while, but I mean…I don't know what is going on._

He stopped cleaning for a moment and takes her face into his hands gently. "Why did you do this…?" He leaned his forehead against hers closing his eyes.

Lucy's eyes widen looking at him. "I-I just…needed it…I-I don't…know…"

Natsu opened his eyes staring at her. "You don't need this anymore."

"Y-You don't understand! What's it like. H-How addictive it gets…I just…need it."

"I need you though!"

Lucy's eyes widen even more staring at him. "N-No you don't…"

Natsu couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction. "Of course I do. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

 _I just want to kiss her. But…_

"I'm going to finish cleaning the cuts." He pulled away from her and finished everything he was doing wrapping the cuts up. "There we go." He stood up and looked at her. "Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine…" She moved off the counter looking down. Natsu took her chin and moved her head up so he could see her.

"You aren't fine. Obviously, you need more help than what we have been doing." Natsu laid his forehead against hers once again. "I thought I took everything away."

"…You forgot I have my knifes…in the kitchen…"

Natsu sighed and pulled away running his hands through his hair. "Damn it…"

"N-Natsu…I-" She was shut up when Natsu all the sudden pushed her against the counter and roughly kissed her. He had his hands in her hair and his body against hers. Lucy was more than surprised what happened. She never expected this, but after a few seconds she kissed him back. The rough kiss soon became more passionate. Lucy wrapped her arms around his neck and Natsu was holding on her hips pulling her close.

After a few moments though the kiss ended. Natsu had pulled away looking down at her. "Sorry…I couldn't hold it back." Lucy's face was completely red and she had no idea what to even say. Natsu smiled down at her and kissed her gently biting her bottom lip. "I love you…"

Lucy's eyes widen staring up at him. "N-Natsu…I-" She was cut off once again when Natsu kissed her deeply.

 _Sorry Luce…I just don't want you to reject me right now. Just let me have this moment._

Lucy tried to push him away as much as she could. "N-Natsu…" He didn't respond back and held her closer to him and bites her lip making her gasp. He stuck his tongue roughly in her mouth and wrapped his tongue around hers. She moaned at all the contact, but was still trying to move away. Once she did finally break contact she ran into her room. "Natsu let me talk!"

"Fine…" Natsu walked into her room and sat down on her bed. "I'm done with what I was doing anyways."

Lucy sighed and tried to think over the words she wanted to say. "Natsu…I do love you, but I'm not like myself anymore. The depression and the cutting and the starving. I have no idea who I am anymore. I need to get better before anything like this happens. I don't know who I am and I don't know who I use to be anymore. I'm completely lost and I just don't think you will want me…" Lucy moved her shirt up to show her scars. "I even have the proof that I am lost. I just…don't want to lose you as a friend, because of what I'm doing."

Natsu stayed silent for a bit thinking over everything. He stared at the scars tracing them with his eyes. "Luce, come over here towards me." She never argued about it and just walked in front of him. She figured they might as well get this all out in the open anyways. Natsu pulled her close and let his hands slip under her shirt pulling it up and over her head. He let it fall right beside them and he traced his fingers over her scars. "Luce, you…will always be Luce. Your smile and your laugh and everything. It's you. No matter how lost you get you will always be yourself. The girl who cheers on everyone. The girl who fights for the ones you love. The girl who will do anything for the ones you love. The girl who will smile no matter how much pain you are in. The girl who I fell in love with. You are so much stronger than I ever will be."

"You're insane…" Lucy mumbled out tears coming down her face. Natsu smiled and leaned up kissing her. Lucy couldn't help but smile kissing him back. Natsu grabbed the back of her knees and pulled her forward making her sit on his lap.

"You get it now?" Natsu mumbled out nibbling on her lip. All Lucy could do was nod not being able to talk at all. Natsu chuckled and laid her down on the bed. He looked down at the scars that were still showing and laid his head on her stomach tracing the scars. "You are mine now. Even these are mine."

"Natsu…" Lucy squirmed around under him. She felt so weird in this position with him. It wasn't that bad, but with him tracing her scars it felt a bit awkward. She felt naked in a sense. He saw what everything was doing to her and he was trying to help as much as he could. Natsu smiled and moved up to be face to face with her. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." He kissed her quickly and moved off of her. "We should probably eat something"

"What did you want?" Lucy moved off the bed and grabbed her shirt putting it back on.

"Um…I don't know. Maybe we could do sandwiches and something?" Lucy nodded heading to the kitchen with Natsu following her. She got to work on making lunch while Natsu sat down watching her.

 _Well…this was an interesting afternoon. Would have never guess it would end up like this. Now…I just got to make her mine. For good. No more of her being alone. We can finally be together. I don't ever want to lose her._

After a few minutes Lucy set down two plates at the table and took her seat across from him. The two started eating in a peaceful silence.

 _Everything happened so fast. I can't believe he doesn't hate me. Now I really do have to get better. For him and all my family. I'll be able to do it. I hope. It'll take some time to get over everything. I think with him I'll be fine. I hope._

Natsu was done eating first and he took his dishes to the sink. "Happy will probably be coming around late evening." Lucy nodded getting done with her food and taking her dishes to the sink. "We have a couple hours for ourselves."

"What did you want to do then? I should probably go shopping though…"

Natsu smirked and pushed her against the counter. "I was thinking something a lot better than shopping." He leaned down capturing her lips with his. The kiss at first was innocent enough, but soon got more passionate. He held behind her legs and picked her up. Lucy in returned wrapped her legs around his waist. Natsu started to head for the bedroom and once he got there he dropped her on the bed.

"Natsu…Do you think this is a good idea…?"

"It's fine, don't worry." He smiled down at her and leans down biting her neck as he got on the bed moving on top of her. Lucy flinched a bit by the pressure and bites her lip getting even nervous even more. Things were happening a lot faster than she thought in one day. Was this really supposed to happen the day they confess? Is this really happening?

Natsu went up and kissed her softly moving between her legs laying his body on top of hers. Lucy wrapped her arms around him pulling him closer kissing him back. He snuck his hands under her shirt pushing it up and only broke the kiss long enough to remove the shirt and throwing it across the room. He went back attacking her mouth biting and sucking her lips and tongue. Lucy had somehow taken off his vest in the middle of everything and tossed it on the floor.

After a few moments though Lucy had to pull away and push him off a bit. "Natsu…seriously…maybe we shouldn't do this right now. We just kind of confessed. Maybe…we should slow down and think about this."

"Sorry…but I kind of decided to make you all mine now." He put all his weight down so she couldn't push him away anymore.

She groaned at his weight. "I'm already yours though."

"Not what I even mean." He chuckled and licks behind her ear. "I want to prove I'm not going anywhere. I want to prove to you that I'm here for you forever. I won't do it if you don't want to though."

Lucy bites the inside of her check. "It's not that I don't want to…just are you really sure…?"

Natsu smiled a bit and kissed her softly grinding against her slowly. "I just want you to be mine forever."

"But…I am…"

Natsu laughed and leans back hooking his thumbs in the waist of her pants. He slowly started to pull them down. "Again…not what I mean." He kept eye contact while he slipped off her pants. "You will always be mine after this."

"What are you getting at…?" He smirked at her and threw her pants somewhere in the room. Lucy couldn't help but blush at the look he gave her. "Natsu…I…"

He kissed her once again. "Just shush for a bit and relax. It's just us for now." Lucy sighed and gave in kissing him back. She wrapped her arms around neck and her legs around his hips. Natsu smirked and grinded against her. The kissed for what seemed like hours and in the mix Natsu had taken off his pants tossing them somewhere. He deepened the kiss pushing his tongue into her mouth rolling it with hers. Her hands were in his hair and he had an arm above her head holding her up and the other holding her face. He was still grinding against her getting a bit rougher.

He finished up getting both them undress, but never really broke the kiss. When he finally decided to push inside of her, Lucy pushed him back. "N-Natsu…it hurts…" She was trying to push him off of her.

"Luce, just relax. It'll pass soon, so just relax for the time being." Lucy groaned shaking her head still trying to push him away. "You already know it'll hurt, so just relax. Please?" Lucy stayed silent for a few moments and nodded slowly. Natsu smiled a bit pushed back inside of her. Lucy had to bite her lip rather hard to keep from saying a word and it took everything for her not to just push him back and hide from him.

After a few minutes of her trying to relax and Natsu being extremely careful with the whole process. Lucy finally felt the pain subside and she sighed relaxing. "Finally…"

Natsu chuckled looking down at her. "Ready?"

Lucy blinked confused. "What do you mean…?"

"So silly." He kissed her deeply pressing his body against hers. He pushed his full length insider her causing her to moan out. He started thrusting hard and Lucy was like putty underneath him. Her legs were wrapped tightly around his body and she couldn't help but claw his back. With every hard thrust he pushed into her, her nails just went deeper and deeper into his skin. His lips were still attached to her own with his tongue wrapped around his. He sometimes would just stop thrusting so he could just take his time and kiss her.

They were both reaching the peak slowly. They had taken their time getting to know each other's bodies finding spots that would just drive them crazy to the point of no return. Their bodies never leaving one another's. They were like glued to each other. Neither wanted this to be over and each got caught up in their own little world. The more thrusting and the kissing they got closer. The more they touch they got closer and at some point they reached at their climax at the same time. He came inside of her and she came around him. Both saw stars, but neither of them broke the kiss or stopped touching each other.

After coming down from the rush Natsu had slowly pulled out of her and moved to her side. "Shit…" He sighed deeply in relief putting his arms behind his head and closed his eyes relax. Lucy smiled a bit and rolled onto his chest closing her eyes relaxing. He yawned and was falling asleep pretty fast. It had been a pretty stressful day, but it ended amazing.

"Natsu…"

He glanced down at her and smiled a bit. "Yeah? You doing okay?"

"When you meant I was yours…you didn't pull out…"

"Did you figure it out?"

"You don't really expect me to be after one time right?"

He laughed loudly. "Do you really think we will be doing this one time? Plus, do you honestly expect me not to keep trying? Of course we will be trying every single day till it happens."

"I'm not ready though! I still got my own problems, plus we just confessed today!" Lucy had sat up from her position and wrapped the blanket around her body.

"I already told you that you were mine. I was thinking maybe three or four. What do you think?"

"Are you not listening to what I'm saying?"

"Natsuuuu!" Happy yelled coming through the window.

"Stupid cat!" Lucy kicked Happy and closed her window.

"Luce, why did you do that?"

"Why are you acting like we are going to have kids right now?"

"Because we are going to be doing it a lot and I want kids."

"Nope! I'm banning it for now!" Lucy jumped off her bed and Natsu was right behind her. "Would you put clothes on!?"

"That's so much working when we will be just taking them off again." Natsu was smirking looking at her.

"I told you I'm banning it!" Lucy yelled running to the bathroom and locking the door.

"Like hell you are banning it. I bet you anything the moment I get my hands on you, you will melt." He was pounding on the door. "Like this door will actually hold me back!" And he knocked the door down.

The days were never boring after this day. A few months later Lucy found out she had gotten pregnant and flipped out on Natsu. It took a couple years though for her to really recover from the depression she went through. She still couldn't explain what drove her to do it. It was over with anyway. She had her beautiful baby girl and the guy she fell in love with. She had to protect both of them no matter what. She had to protect all of her family and that included the Guild. She had to go stronger for everyone and she would never look back to the dark times. They just weren't worth it anymore.


End file.
